Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Chicago Bears

Some people are fans of the Chicago Bears. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Chicago Bears. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here. 1. Lovie. Lovie Smith belongs on the bizarro Mount Rushmore of active NFL head coaches (Reid, Turner, Lewis) who are seemingly impervious to unemployment despite their best efforts to fuck their own team in the ass on a regular basis. Part of me would like to see the NFL give each team five timeouts per half just so I could see how Lovie wastes them. No one is better at taking a timeout to figure out whether or not he wants to throw a challenge flag on a four-yard completion than Lovie Smith. I root for a team that has a rich history of terrible coaching, an…